Travel Tips

Crossing the border in TJ brings a Mexican metamorphisis of sustinence and pleasure. The human body's ability to adapt to changing enviornments takes center stage. Carne asada become a staple, fireworks are not just for the 4th, hang overs increase in occurance and severity, as do ways to defeat them, fruit is all but forgotten, and as any Sweede could tell you the only mixed salad you could find would be an ice bucket of mixed greens from the Pacifico and Corona group. The little ones ofcourse.

1. Practice weekly visits to your local tacqueria. This will improve your Spanish and help to maintain the iron constitution that is essential to step two.

2. Consume multiple meals of multiple plates of tacos each and every day. Waste not want not, eat a lot, practice, practice, practice.

3. If you wish to keep a girl friend, find a place where you can spend more than $17 on your Carne Asade meal. Don't worry, after several taco stand gorgings for under $6, not only will she think your are splurging for her, she also will think you're a savy shopper.

4. Chicken can be dangerous.

5. Carne Asada is nearly impossible to screw up.

6. Don't fear a good barf.

7. Absolutely do not, by all means, in no way, shape, or form, get into a Tequila shot drinking contest with Joe Calexico.

8. Don't buy 3 chicklets for a quarter, buy the whole box for $1.50. 9. Two Budwiesers are worth a $100 bribe.

10. Pretend you like Soccer.

11. There is a short cut across the border at Tiajuana but we're not telling.